Sunday, March 6, 2011

Skinny Jeans

When is this fashion trend going to end?  (Actually - funny I should ask, as I have recently read in more than one reputable fashion magazine that the trend is over and you should stop wearing your skinny jeans, but this of course means that we will have at least another five to ten years of those sausage casings parading as pants on the racks in main stream America.)
The peeve of the skinny jean is that only about .015% of the population should be wearing them.  Yet, they have become the mainstay of every retail store from J.Crew to the Gap to Deb.  There are substances on the average female leg (example - body fat) that shouldn't be forced into a two inch width of material.  Have you ever noticed that small pickles are so squeezed into glass jars that they nearly burst from the jar when the lid is removed?  And, yet, the jumbo pickle is actually sold in a liquid-filled plastic sleeve, allowing for adequate wiggle room to support its comfort level?  That large pickle represents the thighs of American women.  Allow your legs the same respect as the jumbo pickle, ladies.   
Just the other day I was behind a women on a sidewalk and I actually had to look away.  She was wearing the advanced type of skinny jean that is in fact a stretch pant with all of the jean accouterments painted on.  I felt as if I was invading her privacy just by walking down the same sidewalk.  No stranger should be privy to every nuance of your cellulite, every indentation of your gluteus maximus.
I know that the skinny pant is hard to avoid.  I have a pair of corduroys myself that are breathing down the neck of the skinny look.  But when you try on a set of these toothpick casings, really look at yourself.  If there was more material used to make your underwear than the pants, put them back on the shelf.  I believe that by closing the door on the skinny jean, you are opening the window for the bootleg, the stovepipe, the straight leg, the flare, etc, etc. 
Yikes - I forgot to even touch on the subject of skinny pants for men.  No words needed.  Please see below.

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