Friday, March 18, 2011

All of your Baggage

*Peeve Five in the Trials of Travel Week

I've got a couple of peeves regarding passenger baggage.  First, I'd like to talk about "carry on" luggage.  The very name insinuates that you should be able to carry it / lift it.  So, first step to determining if it is, in fact, carry-on luggage is if you can carry it.  (This is often not the case, as the enormous items brought on planes by many can certainly not be hefted over their heads into the overhead bins.)  Carry-on luggage is clearly defined, if not enforced, by the airlines.  You are allowed one piece of small luggage and one personal item.  For those that do not know, a personal item is a purse or a wallet (think small), not a large duffel bag.  So...your duffel bag, overstuffed roller bag, lumpy hobo purse, backpack, and grungy off-white pillow do not combine to be CARRY ON luggage. 
This surplus of bologna baggage has gotten to the point that nearly every flight "gate checks" your carry-on luggage now.  Which means that the mass of humanity that you managed to enter into the gate area with (without paying any of the new baggage fees) is now going under the plane with my legitimate, declared, and paid-for luggage.  Sweet.  I hope my luggage leaks hair gel on your luggage. 
Solution?  Why not start charging for CARRY ON luggage, which bangs old ladies in the head, slows down the security line to an excruciating pace, eliminates leg-room, and generally irritates everyone and let CHECKED luggage ride for free?

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