Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Cell Outs


Cell phones are awesome.  Seriously, not only can you talk to people wherever you are whenever you want to, you can also check your email, surf the web, take pictures, text, etc…..
Unfortunately, unlike driving a car, no license is needed to operate a cell phone.  However, for the cell phone abusers, maybe one should be required.  I’m not even going to get into the people who talk on their phone at the movies, weddings, funerals, plays, or the ones who think it’s a good idea to text while driving.  Even if these offenders had a license, it should be permanently revoked…..they are too far gone.
Go away.
The real pet peeves are perhaps a little more subtle, but just as annoying.  Unlike those listed above, the abusers we’ll talk about now have a chance to get better with a little help from their friends.   So without further ado let’s examine a few peeves. 
Toilet talk
Need I say more?  Probably not, but I will anyway.  This is about the guy who is doing his business in a public bathroom while conducting business (?) on his phone.  I’m talking about the guy dropping bombs that can be heard down the hall, so they can certainly be heard by the person on the other end of his very significant call.   Hey Mr. Trump, if you were that important you would have a private bathroom to conduct your business.  Drop the phone before you drop the kids off at the pool.
Mr. Trump or Mr. Dump?
Shopper Talk
Okay, you come into a small store with one employee and you are carrying on a conversation while ignoring the person whose job it is to help you.  Couldn’t you finish your call prior to coming into the store?  The answer is, of course you could have.  What is the point of this idle chatter?  Do you think the person in the store cares about your gossip?  Should they stand around and wait for you to get off this extremely important call?  This is pretty simple.  If you’re going into a store, any type of store, get off your phone.  I can assure you that unless you’re P Diddy level, no one cares about your conversation, especially the people working at the store. 
P Diddy?  More like P Don’ty.
The Argument
This one confounds me.  The public argument is bad enough, but the public cell phone argument?  Seriously?  You can’t wait until you’re alone to drop f bombs to whomever it is that you’re talking to?  Inappropriate on so many levels.  I don’t care how angry you are, or how important you think this particular argument is.  What I do care about is that your angry, sometimes filthy, nonsensical ranting has invaded my ear-space.  You know when the public cell phone argument is appropriate?  Never.  The End.

The Restaurant Talker
This is similar to the Shopper Talker, but a lot more dangerous.  Here’s the thing about people who work in restaurants….they don’t appreciate rudeness on any level.  Take it from me; I worked in all kinds of them for years.  Be polite to your waiter, it is in your best interest.  Talking on your cell phone when the waiter is trying to take your order is not advisable.  Trust me on this one.  In fact, other than being a bad tipper this is one of the worst offenses you can commit in a restaurant.  Again, if you’re important enough to be taking this call while at a restaurant, you would probably have an assistant ordering for you.  If that is the case, talk away.  Otherwise, get off the phone and listen to the special of the day so you don’t get the other special of the day you probably wouldn’t be too keen on.

You look happy….I wonder what’s in your salad.
Last but certainly not least, this one needs no explanation.
The Bluetooth

Do you wear your sunglasses at night?

1 comment:

better suited for a fictional world said...

i make it a habit to flush the toilet three or four times whenever i'm in the bathroom at work, and someone else is in there on the phone. you know, just in case the person they were talking to didn't notice yet that they were in the bathroom.